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WITH LOVE FROM A LONELY DOG

 

I wish someone would tell me

What it is that I’ve done wrong.

Why do I have to stay chained up

And be left alone so long?

 

They seemed so glad to have me

When I came here as a pup.

There were so many things we’d do

While I was growing up.

 

The Master said he’d train me

As a companion and a friend.

The Mistress said she’d never fear

To be alone again.

 

The children said they’d feed me

And brush me every day.

They’d play with me and walk me

If I would only stay.

 

But now the Master “hasn’t time”

The Mistress says I shed.

She doesn’t want me in the house

Not even to be fed.

 

The children never walk me.

They always say, “Not now.”

I wish that I could please them.

Won’t someone tell me how.

 

All I had, you see, was LOVE.

I wish they would explain

Why they said they wanted mine

And then left it on a chain.

 

©1976 by Edith Lassen Johnson ~ Collie Cues

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This was emailed to me a couple of years ago and I still find it funny but true...

~ DOG VS. CAT ~

Dog's Diary

8:00 AM - Dog food!  My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride!  My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard!  My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones!  My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Played ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Watched TV with the people!  My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!

 Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.  My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.  The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped it would strike fear into their hearts since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made some condescending comments about what "a good little hunter" I am.  Bimbos!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow...  but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released and seems more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.